Ok, so my husband conveniently forgot to drop off our Redbox movies on the way to work this morning which meant that I would have to do it with 3 kids in tow. You would think that something as simple as returning a movie would be easy....but nothing is easy when you have kids. When you are alone you simply park the car, get out, run inside, return the movie, run back to the car, and go....2 mins tops.
With kids it goes something like this.....park car, get out, go to door #1 and get kid #1 out, hold the hand of kid #1 to go to door#2 (rear door) to get kid #2 out, kid #1 doesn't want to hold your hand and almost runs into the street, chase kid #1 and try to regain control, tell kid #2 to stay put and not to move a muscle, grab kicking/screaming kid #1 and bring back to car, try to coax kids #s 1&2 to hold hands so that you can get kid #3, kid #1 is dead set on not holding anyone's hands, pull both kids #s 1&2 to door #3 to get kid #3, lift kid #3 in 50lb infant carrier (ok not really but sure feels like it), slowly and carefully cross street trying to keep kids #1&2 from darting out in front of cars while still carrying kid #3, go inside store, hunt for redbox machine b/c it's been moved (AGAIN!) b/c of store construction, find redbox machine (luckily only one other person in line), return movies, turn to exit store, kid #1 realizes that we are in the store that gives out free cookies and demands to go to the other end of store to get them, kid #3 is getting really heavy, explain to kid #1 that we aren't going to get cookies tonight b/c we are on our way to get hamburgers and we don't want to spoil dinner, kid #1 proceeds to have a tantrum demanding cookies, look longingly at the far end of the store where sits the cookie box, resist the urge to give in to kid #1's demands, grab the arm of kid #1 and drag out of store, wait for traffic before crossing street while holding kid #3 and the still screaming kid #1, truck waves us across, proceed to cross street, lose grip of screaming kid #1, kid #1 lays sprawled out with belly on pavement and refuses to budge, cars are backed up, people are watching, repeatedly attempt to lift kid #1 from the pavement w/ one arm while holding kid #3 in the other, all atempts fail, try to remain cool and calm, fight back the tears that are trying to force their way out, finally drag kid #1 to the curb, kid #2 repeatedly points out how bad kid #1 is acting, demand (very loudly) that kid #1 get up or they will be beaten, hope no one hears and calls DSS, kid #1 finally walks to car (very slowly), place kid #3 into car, get kid #2 into car, kid # 1 begins to walk away, threaten to leave kid #1 alone in the parking lot and never come back, kid #1 gets scared and climbs into car, kid #1 then refuses to get into seat and sits on the floor of car, climb in and yank kid #1 into seat, climb on top of, and hold down while fastening seat straps, slam car door as hard as you possibly can and then realize that there are people in the car in front of you watching, blush, get into car, act like you have it all together and are as cool as a cucumber....who are you kidding, you're mad as .......!!! Drive away w/ kid #1 still screaming, kid #3 starts crying out of fright, swear to yourself that you're never renting another movie ever again!!!
Can you guess who kid #1 was?
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